Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic by Esther Perel

72,846 words · about 6 hours at an average pace · Psychology, Nonfiction

How hard is Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic to read?

Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic scores 61 out of 100 for difficulty on ReadingRate, making it quite demanding. The score is a weighted composite of nine measures: four of how hard the prose is to parse, five of how hard the meaning is to extract.

Vocabulary: 62 out of 100
The book employs a sophisticated vocabulary related to psychology, relationships, and sexuality, including terms like 'ontologically anxious,' 'elan vital,' and 'mutuality.' While not overly obscure, the language is more academic and literary than everyday conversation, requiring a reader to be comfortable with abstract concepts and nuanced expression. This is similar to 2666, which uses literary vocabulary without being overly obscure.
Sentence structure: 68 out of 100
The sentences are generally long and complex, often incorporating multiple clauses and parenthetical asides. The author uses a conversational yet sophisticated tone, creating sentences that are grammatically correct but require careful attention to follow the thread of the argument. This complexity is similar to 2666, which has long paragraphs but is still navigable.
Abstraction: 78 out of 100
The book delves into theoretical concepts related to desire, intimacy, and the dynamics of long-term relationships. It frequently references psychoanalytic frameworks and philosophical ideas, moving beyond concrete examples to explore abstract notions of love, eroticism, and the self. This level of abstraction is comparable to Brothers Karamazov, which features philosophical debates within a dramatic narrative.
Information density: 70 out of 100
Each page is packed with ideas, psychological insights, and cultural observations, demanding sustained attention from the reader. The author presents numerous concepts and arguments, often drawing on research and case studies to support her claims. This density of information is similar to 2666, which contains historical detail and multiple timeframes.
Narrative indirection: 60 out of 100
While the book presents arguments and insights directly, it also relies on the reader to infer meaning from case studies and anecdotal evidence. The author often poses questions and explores different perspectives, inviting the reader to engage in critical thinking and draw their own conclusions. This approach is similar to The Great Gatsby, where Nick's narration shapes the reader's understanding.
Symbolic density: 68 out of 100
The book uses recurring motifs such as 'the anchor and the wave' and 'the double flame' to represent the tension between security and passion. These symbols serve as shorthand for complex ideas, adding layers of meaning to the text beyond the literal. This is comparable to Heart of Darkness, where the journey itself functions as a symbol.
Ironic distance: 50 out of 100
The author maintains a generally sincere tone, but there are moments of subtle irony and self-awareness, particularly when discussing societal expectations around love and marriage. She occasionally critiques conventional wisdom and challenges readers to question their own assumptions. This is similar to Moby-Dick, where Ishmael's humor is present even amidst tragedy.
Resolution withholding: 62 out of 100
The book offers insights and frameworks for understanding the challenges of maintaining desire in long-term relationships, but it does not provide definitive solutions or easy answers. The author acknowledges the complexity of the issues and encourages readers to find their own paths. This is similar to Lolita, where the aftermath is known but the meaning is left open.
Structural complexity: 48 out of 100
The book follows a relatively straightforward structure, progressing logically through different aspects of the central theme. While there are anecdotes and case studies, the overall organization is clear and easy to follow. This is similar to War and Peace, which has an epic scope but maintains a chronological order.

How Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic is regarded

Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic holds a literary regard score of 36 out of 100, weighing its place in the canon, its critical reception, its influence on other writers, and the standing of its author. Regard is measured separately from difficulty: a demanding book is not necessarily an admired one.

Where Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic sits in Northrop Frye's Anatomy of Criticism

Placed by a full reading of the text (130 passages), not from reputation. Each verdict quotes the passage that earned it. On the axis from myth to irony, Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic scores 62 out of 100. A second mythos, irony, pulls at it with a weight of 0.2. About the map of stories.

Mode: Low Mimetic
Adele comes into my office holding half a sandwich in one hand and some paperwork she’s doing on the fly in the other.
Symbol: Descriptive
Think poetry, not prose,” I tell her.
Mythos: Normal Comedy iii (comedy iii)
he was choosing her again, and it’s the act of choosing, the freedom involved in choosing, that keeps a relationship alive.
Genre: Anatomy + Confession
My parents were survivors of Nazi concentration camps.

Where the story of Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic takes place

  • Therapy offices and homes, New York City and America, c. 1985-2006 (1985 to 2006), the main setting

7 things that are true of Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic, with the passage for each

  1. Perel says she speaks eight languages.

    I speak eight languages.

  2. Perel's parents survived Nazi concentration camps and were the sole survivors of their families.

    My mother and father were the sole survivors of their respective families.

  3. She banned a couple from all touching, including pecks and cuddling, as therapy.

    No contact. No pecks, no kissing, no massage, no strokes. Nothing.

  4. Newsweek's experts define a sexless marriage as sex no more than ten times a year.

    define a sexless marriage as one in which couples have sex no more than ten times a year.

  5. Ratu, a twenty-two-year-old Ivy League student, describes hookup culture.

    Ratu is a twenty-two-year-old college student at an Ivy League university.

  6. Carla charged her husband a hundred dollars for a sexual act to break his Madonna/whore block.

    A hundred bucks if you want that kind of head. A hundred bucks.

  7. The book quotes a Talmudic parable in which a rabbi's wife disguises herself as the prostitute Haruta.

    she dresses herself up as Haruta and meets him there.

Scenes in Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic that Frye would name

18 sightings of Frye's terms in the text. The strongest:

Confession, untitled
My parents were survivors of Nazi concentration camps. The author grounds her thesis in introverted autobiography about parents who 'wanted to revive'.
Anagnorisis, untitled
I was away from all that inane stuff and those absurd conversations. I just really saw him. Adele suddenly sees her husband as a stranger, recovering his otherness and her desire.
Anagnorisis, untitled
In her honesty, he discovered her again. Ryan recognises Christine's separateness and re-chooses her, pivoting the story.
Anatomy, untitled
Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School, by Rachel Greenwald; 5 Minutes to Orgasm Every Time You Make Love, by Claire D. Hutchins A satiric catalogue of self-help titles typical of the encyclopedic anatomy.
Cognitio, untitled
By taking control he was finally able to lose control. James's recognition of his own desire restores the marriage's erotic life.
Confession, untitled
I grew up in Belgium, studied in Israel, and finished my training in the United States. The self-presentation of a 'cultural hybrid' frames the whole argument.

Books that share these scenes with Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic

About the author

Esther Perel